(SNES) Advanced Technology Development at FDO

["Les Coleman" <les11@cox.net>]

Hi Technology Lovers,

Relatively few of our visitors realize the extent to which Frosty Drew
Observatory is in the forefront of technology development to aid amateur
astrononomy.  We have forged alliances with the military and heavy equipment
manufacturers in the hopes of rendering a truly useful set of astronomical
tools.  Most of you remember the AR-14 Cloud Dispersal Unit.  Although it
bore a superficial resemblence to an attack helicopter turned turtle, it
represented the first serious attempt at allowing unimpeded clear skies for
amateurs.  We regret that its side effects (tornadoes, small animals sucked
into the up draft, the unfortunate loss of aircraft in the area, etc.)
rendered it of limited utility.  None the less, our initial set backs have
not stopped our research program.

Today I would like to inform you of our latest attempt at removing fog,
dampness and clouds from the vacinity of FDO.  The use of hair dryers to
remove dew from telescopes is a tried and true technique.  What works in
small ways on small areas also works particularly well when scaled up.
Since our enlarged hair dryer weighs 7.23 metric tons, holding and pointing
the unit was next to impossible for most of us.  A remedy for these problems
appeared fortuitously when demolition began on the runway behind the dome.
Merging our enlarged hair dryer with an earth mover has turned out to be
nearly (if not totally) ideal.

Click on the following to view this unit:
http://www.frostydrew.org/transfer/coleman/fogdryer.gif

I will not try to persuade you that the development has proceeded without
incident.  If you look closely, you can see scorch marks on the gate,
blackened pine trees, and a large oak denuded of all foliage in the middle
of summer.  Not as easily visible but also alarming were the deleterious
effects of the Nature Center (where shingles were blown free and windows
demolished).  We do not believe that the loss of paint on the Senior
Citizen's Center was due solely to our machine, although the fact that only
the side turned towards the Observatory had any paint peeling is difficult
to explain.

Using the unit at night has several drawbacks.  The treds tear up the lawn
and the nearby vegetation.  It could conceivably flatten the dome if we
steered the wrong way.  Three telescopes set up on the tarmac were blown
away in our first Friday night test.  All three were found in the brush near
the entrance gate, and except for some minor bending of the OTAs, broken
optics, loss of small parts and scratch marks the telescopes were undamaged.
Two of the telescope's owners returned after receiving first aid.  Both of
these visiting astronomers were impressed how quickly evening dampness
evaporated.  We are still searching for the remaining visiting astronomer.
If anyone knows whether he simply left without telling us, we'd appreciate
the information.  We'd like to terminate the manhunt.

Although the unit is not totally acceptable, it does do a fairly good job of
evaporating unwanted moisture.  We have also turned a fairly nice profit
from our cooked sea food stand.  Complaints from local commercial fisherman
that our unit brings the Atlantic near Charlestown to a boil is probably due
to the fact that our one stage system is much faster and more profitable
than the traditional two stage method of catching the fish and cooking the
fish in two differant activities.

Wishing you and yours a wonderful clear sky through technology, I am, as
always your resident mad scientist.

Les Coleman
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